KEEP THE RIVER ON YOUR RIGHT: A MODERN CANNIBAL TALE (2000) (***1/2)

16 11 2006
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Tobias Schneebaum was an established painter in the 1950s when he decided to change his professional direction and become an anthropologist. He believed that the best way to understand a native culture was to live with them and like them, which led him to develop homosexual relationships with men of the Asmat tribe as well as engage in cannibalism in Peru.

This documentary begins by showing us Schneebaum today. He is still tormented by what he did in Peru. He’s poor and lonely, making money only through social security and conducting lectures about the Asmat culture on cruise ships.

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THE CRAZIES (1973) (**1/2)

16 11 2006
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George A. Romero is a horror director who always has something to say in his films. This almost procedural-like thriller has some good moments, but doesn’t work as a compelling whole.

A military plane crash has let loose a biological weapon in a small Pennsylvania town. The results of the infection either make people extremely violent or mindlessly docile. In a frightening opening sequence, a small boy tries to frighten his little sister until they both become scared of their ax-welding father. The military soon moves in and puts the town under marshal law. The hazmat suit clad soldiers don’t explain anything to the citizens as they round them up and herd them into the school gym.

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BEDAZZLED (1967) (***1/2)

16 11 2006

I found the 2000 remake of this film with Brendan Fraser rather fun in a fluffy way. However, having now seen the original, the remake seems like sugary angel cake compared to this delicious devil’s food treat.

Dudley Moore stars as Stanley Moon, a short-order cook who longs for the waitress Margaret Spencer (Eleanor Bron, TWO FOR THE ROAD). Depressed with his dead-end life, Stanley decides to commit suicide, however he can’t even succeed at that. In comes George Spiggott (i.e. The Devil) (Peter Cook, SUPERGIRL), who offers Stanley seven wishes in turn for his soul. Stanley takes the offer, but seems to be thwarted with each wish by the crafty Satan, who always puts unexpected obstacles in the way of Stanley’s efforts to win Margaret’s heart.

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HELLBOY: SWORD OF STORMS (2006) (**)

15 11 2006
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I really enjoyed the live-action feature adaptation of HELLBOY and was looking forward to checking out this animated feature, because it had a lot of the same creative people involved. Though it might be based on a story by the original comics creator Mike Mignola, the story is all about plot and nothing to do with its characters.

In this adventure, Hellboy (Ron Perlman, CITY OF LOST CHILDREN) must travel to Japan to investigate a possessed samurai sword, which has transformed a professor into a Gollum-like creature. Apparently, the thunder demon and lightning demon were locked inside the sword, which accidentally transports Hellboy into an alternative realm. As Hellboy tries to find his way out of the alternative reality, his fellow supernatural investigators Liz Sherman (Selma Blair, THE FOG), Abe Sapien (Doug Jones, DOOM) and Prof. Kate Corrigan (Peri Gilpin, TV’s FRAISER) try to uncover what happened to him and the professor, as well as unlock the secrets of two ghostly lovers, who were separated long ago as a result of their battle with the demons.

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BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT THE GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN (2006) (***1/2)

6 11 2006
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Much press has been given to this film saying that it just might be the funniest movie ever made. Oh, it’s funny all right, but not the funniest ever.

In the film, British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen (TV’s DA ALI G SHOW) plays his naïve Kazakhstani reporter character Borat Sagdiyev. He has been commissioned by his government to travel to the U.S. and make a documentary about its culture for the benefit of his nation. Accompanying him is his overweight producer Azamat Bagatov (Ken Davitian, S.W.A.T.).

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MASTERS OF HORROR: IMPRINT (2006) (***)

6 11 2006
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I don’t usually review TV series, but this MASTERS OF HORROR episode presents a new twist, because I was rejected from Showtime and then released direct-to-video. MASTERS OF HORROR is an anthology series where a different horror director makes a new one-hour film for each episode. At first when I heard that Showtime had decided to not air Takashi Miike’s IMPRINT due to its content, I smelled a publicity stunt. Trust me, it wasn’t a publicity stunt, only Showtime preventing a flood of angry letters from swamping their network.

Miike is notorious for pushing the boundaries of horror. For Asian Extreme cinema he works at the most extreme. Knowing that something got this film “banned” from pay cable, I was morbidly waiting for the moment to come. A scene of prolonged torture is bad, but it doesn’t even compare to the shocking moments to follow.

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AEON FLUX (2005) (***)

6 11 2006
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First I must admit that I only have a passing knowledge of the animated series for which this was based on. I can’t make comparisons, because I don’t know how it stacks up to the original. I’ve read some opinions online from fans and it seems to present a watered down version of a complex character. As a novice, I will only judge the live-action film rendition as it is. It isn’t anything new, but it works as a slick, fun popcorn flick.

A plague was wiped out most of the humans on the planet. Now 400 years in the future, all the surviving humans live in a high-tech city where everything is run by the Goodchild corporation. The world outside the city walls has been taken over by wilderness. The citizens sacrifice complete freedom for complete security. Many people just disappear with no reason and the corporation is to blame.

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